summer

so today marked the last day of school and the first day of summer vacation. I'm sure that it will be filled with great times and tears, but hopefully not as much stress or fights or any heartbreak at all. I know i'm gonna miss lycan, but i have keith now and even tho he's great, he'll never be lycan. dont get me wrong, i love keith, but i also love lycan too and i know that i always will no matter what. i cried on the bus ride home today because i didnt get to him before i left. it was a complete repeat of last year. i even had this same exact feeling of dread in my stomach. *sigh* hopefully my past feelings wont ruin my summer, but i am pretty sure that on certain dates like the fourth of july and june 14 will definitely bring tears to my eyes. and i know that i'm gonna have to hide it. i'm going to have to hide the pain that is still buried in my heart and i'm gonna have to put on a happy face for everyone. for keith. for my family. for lycan even. he hates what himself for what he did to me, but he needs to learn to forgive just like i have and that wont happen if i keep showing him how much i'm still hurting. i need to be alright for him to forgive himself. i know that if i survive this summer with as many tears as possible that i'll be okay. no matter how much it's going to hurt, i'm going to have to get over what happened and make it stop haunting my every step. i know it'll be hard, but i think that i've already gone through the worst.

Sapphire

*hearts*

so i currently am no longer single, actually i havent been for a month now... (and it is not the guy mentioned in the previous two posts) he is really nice... he got me a necklace and set of earrings for our one month... both are 10K gold... all i gave him was a picture... dont get me wrong i really like them, but i feel like he spent a crap load of money on me... and it's only been a month... idk i guess i'm just not used to it since neither lycan or colton got me stuff like that... but yeah tho i really like him and he really likes me :)

:)

amazingly happy... i finally got to talk to him and he so nice... he wanted to kiss me tho. i told him not to cause it was the first time we actually talked... i still let him kiss my cheek tho :) i wanted to kiss him tho, but i'm afraid that i'll get stuck in the same thing that happened with lycan. *sigh* hopefully the past doesnt interrupt too much with the present or future. we'll see ;)

See ya!

Sapphire

*wink* *wink*

so today a guy asked me for my number... he is totally hot and he thinks i'm sexy! so i am in an amazingly awesomely awesome mood :) he said that he'd text me tonight, but no word yet.... i cant wait till tomorrow! And another reason my mood is so amazingly awesomely awesome is that this past weekend we had a drill competition and i got 9th place in the knockout drill and our unit placed 2nd overall... all of our teams placed except for advanced colorguard (which lycan wasn't happy about at all) first year colorguard got 3rd and first year IDR with weapons got 2nd (those were the two teams i was on) so u could say that i have a major reasons to be happy :)

See ya,

Sapphire!

Checkin In

as the title describes, this is simply a check in post... nothing has really happened lately... about two weeks ago i got asked out by someone, but i've only talked to him once since then because of all the freakin snow. things are definitely way better with lycan and it's getting back to the way it was before everything that happened this summer which is putting me in an amazing mood. The military ball was the past weekend and i had loads of fun there were some down points, but most of it was pretty good.... umm wat else? oh! i finally got to print out my story! it's 95 pages long :) i gave it to lycan to read. he said that it's good and holds his interest and makes him want to read more, but i need to expand more on things which i already figured that, but just hearing some other than my parents say that it's good is a great feeling! so that's about it... i guess this turned out to be a little more than just a check in lol

See ya,

Sapphire!