Happy

i am in a majorly better mood, thank god and now my mood is increasing more cause josh is talking to me now and halloween is a week away. i cant wait and i'm going to be a renaissance vampire! i have this amazingly pretty dress that i got from walmart. it is perfect! this is probably my best costume yet, so yeah can't wait...

sapphire ;)

Depression

i've started on a road that i will be able to leave eventually, but for now i'm going to walk the halls of my school rather zombie-like. the source of my depression? lycan's moved on and is now with someone else. he's broken my heart and stomped on it with boots and left me hurt and damaged. i will recover from this, but as i sad it'll take a while to do so.

sapphire :'(

Cursed

i am seriously beginning to wonder if i am cursed. anything that i plan or want always goes wrong in some way. always.

fourth of july: i got in trouble for accidentally getting a time wrong...
july 7: had an amazing time at lycan's until i forgot to call my dad...
this whole summer: everytime i saw lycan i screwed up something...
labor day weekend: i went to a party at lycan's and then a day after we got into a major fight and had the worst week ever...
september 23: wanted to hang out with just lycan, but libby had to join us...
my birthday: went to get my permit and my mom forgets my social security card...
homecoming: had an amazing night with lycan, but got into a lot of shit for dancing with him...
september 30: lycan tells me he wants to date me, my mom forbids me from having anything to do with him...
october 3: the previous sunday i met a guy that i liked... he asks me out on wat would have been my first date and then stands me up...
this weekend: i was hoping on seeing lycan, but he was working all weekend... i got his number unblocked from my phone and now he has yet to answer any of my texts

i am obviously cursed or have unbelieveably bad luck

wow

okay, a lot has happened since my last post. my sleep over sucked, libby was the only one that showed and by the time she left i was about ready to pound her into the ground. i hung out with lycan on wednesday. it was supposed to be just us, but libby decided to have her bus driver stop the bus just so she could invite herself to join us. so let's just say that i am currently very pissed. i passed my permit test on thursday, but didnt get it till saturday cause my mom forgot my social security card. i did color guard at the game friday. it was my first football game and it was a lot of fun. saturday was the dance which i had a blast at. i danced all night with lycan mostly. sunday was way awesome. i met this guy named josh and he so nice. i think i like him ;) when we drove him home, he reached over and held my hand and just before we got to his house he kissed me on my neck and now everytime he texts me i smile. i've been in an amazing mood since then and cant wait for tomorrow to come cause i'll get to see him

:)

sapphire

New Phone!

just got back from the mall and i left with my homecoming dress (which looks so pretty) and a brand new phone! it is so awesome and it's PURPLE! that's all.

Looking up

sadly i am dateless for the homecoming dance enxt week, but i could care less about that. i am in a freakin awesome mood right now! want to know why? cause things are going back to normal (well better than normal) with lycan. this week has been great and if everything goes the way it should next week will be way better. tomorrow i'm having a sleep over with some friends for my 16th birthday. my birthday isnt till thursday tho, but the party is going to be way fun. and then next week is spirit week too. wednesday i'll hopefully be able to hangout with lycan after school and then he'll come over for dinner too so that will be awesome. that morning i'll have drill practice! and then friday is the homecoming game and saturday is the dance so busy busy. and thursday i'm going to get my permit too. i cant wait! that's all.

Byes!

Sapphire ;)

*sigh*

well things with lycan arent going to clear up soon sadly. he decided that he wanted to take a break with our thing. now granted when he first sad this he made it sound like there was no chance of things going back to the way they were. so i've cried a lot this week and frankly this week has utterly sucks. so then this morning he reworded it and now i'm in a better mood cause he said that we're going to work back up to it so i hope that doesnt take long, but i'm not going to say anything at all about. i dont want to screw this up and i did at the start of summer when i started to bug him too soon after he had broken up with jenna. so i think that part of the reason he is the way he is now is because he's scared to get hurt again and this is the best way he can think of to sheild himself from it. so i'm just going to let things go for the most part and give him some space. it'll be rough on me, but he's always helping me and putting my feelings before his own, well now i'm returning the favor. i'm going to let him go and do his thing no matter what it does to me, cause i know that in the end it'll pay off and we'll both end up happier.

Sapphire

Debating

hmmm... let's see here... if things dont clear up with lycan in about two weeks, then i think i'm going to ask colton to the dance idk yet tho.

Damn it!

i've screwed up again. turns out i was screwing up pretty much all summer and i was too fuckin stupid to see it! argh!!!!!! i'm not getting closer to lycan, no turns out i'm fucking pushing him away and i'm to freaking stupid to see that myself and it took him getting pissed at me for me to finally understand that. now i have so many thing i have to to fix and so many things i have to change and it's just argh! i should have known better. i should have shut up months ago. i should have listened to him when he warned me. any normal person would have, but no not me i just keep right on pushing and now i have no clue where i freaking stand with him. and i have no clue wat's going to happen now. just freaking great!


P.S. sorry about the swearing

It's Automatic!

tokio hotel's lastest music video, "Auotmatic," recently released like yesterday and i must say that it is freaking amazing! i love the cars and bill looks sooooooooooo hot! at first i didnt like his new hair cause saw a pic from a photoshoot and the front was pulled straight back, but in the video he looks amazing! i must say that tho, that i like tom with dreads more than bill. tom just seems more like the kind of guy to have dreads and bill seems like the guy to look like sonic the hedgehog. oh and while i'm talking about tokio hotel... HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILL AND TOM! they turn 20 on spetember 1 (tuesday) wanna know wat they did for they're birthday? RENTED OUT AN ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK. now that is one awesome birthday.

Sapphire

HELP!!!!!!!!!

okay if anyone is reading this then now would be the perfect time to speak up! i need major help. the problem: lycan. i dont know wat to do. he doesnt want to be boyfriend and girlfriend which is fine by me, but it makes it hard on me causei think i may like way more than just a friend should. and i know that we do bf/gf stuff and i am real happy about that, but now seeing as school has started i cant stop thinking about him and when i know it's close to maybe seeing him i can feel my whole body shake. i try to ignore, but it's so annoying. so i dont know wat to do. i feel like if i move on and get over him that will go away, but i cant even picture myself with anyone but him. *sigh* i am so confused and lost and so many other things right now. i can hardly think straight as it is from being sick and now this and new classes and a whole new freaking time schedule. i hope lycan reads this post cause i dont think i'll be able to explain this again. maybe he can help me.\

onto other topics like how my last weekend of summer went... it went really well. i was going to go to the sub sale on saturday, but i was too tired. so i slept in and then i got to got the renaissance festival (which i wore a costume for) and then that night i was dodging chunks of mud down ON the track for the demolition derby at the county fair. and then sunday night my department got a search detail for a drunk guy up the ridge. that was a really bumpy ride. and after they found him they sent us to set up a landing zone. it was so cool seeing the helicopter land and take off! first day of school (yesterday) went well. i dont get to lycan near as much as last year, but i'll make it work somehow. i went to drill too last night. it was boring cause we just put the 1000 feet of 5 inch that was on the engine onto the tanker and the 1000 feet of 5 inch on the tanker onto the engine. i was up top helping pull it onto the truck and my knees were so sore today from it.

a little about my classes...

no i dont have chem with lycan which sucks, but i kinda figured i wouldnt. my sociology class has a lot of seniors in it and my crafts class is filled with freshmen. i dont have A lunch with lycan either... instead i'm stuck in B all year. which pisses me off cause ej got A lunch. i get to run fromend of the school to the other all day. and i mean that literally. i hardly even have time to stop at my NEW locker. yeah they gave almost all the sophpmores new lockers that are closer to they're homerooms. so that really sucks, but i'm closer to lycan's locker which is majorly cool. wat else.... homeroom is at the end of the day which majorly screws with me and i dont like it at all. tomorrow we take forsights which is awful and i think i'll stop ranting about school now.

so yeah if u guys could help me out on the above subject that would be great.

thanks!

Sapphire

Happy :)

i is very happy right now. i can talk better, lycan just left about an hour ago and school starts in less than a week. yay! i had so much fun with lycan mostly we just hung out down at the park. he wanted to kiss me reall bad and i wanted to kiss him real bad (but i didnt cause i is sick and dont want him sick even tho he said not to worry about it) so we figured out a way that both of us would be satisfied (well as best we could get at the moment). i wonder if he realizes that when i'm all better i'm going to tackle and just start making out with him lol. hopefully that's soon. now onto school. why am i happy about schol u may ask. well it's a rather simple answer. i'll get to see all my friends i didnt see over the summer and i'll get to see lycan everyday. so i will be rather happy. dang it! i forgot to talk to him about maybe hanging out after school on monday >:( i hate when i forget stuff. oh well. hmmmm... i think that's all i have to say. well for right now that is of course i have more to say, but we'll save that for another day.

Byes!

Sapphire ;)

ARRRRRRRRGH!

ARRRRRRGH! i cant believe this! i am stuck being sick for wat could be three more weeks, school starts in a week, i cant see lycan cause he's so busy with other things and such and it's just all so freaking frustrating! i can hardly swallow or talk cause my of throat! wat am i gonna do if it doesnt go away before school starts!?! ARRRG! and i was really hoping to see lycan again before school starts (hell i've been wanting to do that for weeks) but he's always busy doing something else. god! this sucks!

So i got kinda mad the first time i went onto this mortal instruments site cause they screwed up so much. i'm reading it and i'm like "wrong... wrong... so wrong!" it pissed me off. so now i am making my own site for the amazing books by cassandra clare. i dont have much of it done yet, but it's getting there. the address is: sites.google.com/site/alicanteidris so yep! check it out plz.

BYES!

Sapphire

i'm only posting so that lycan will stop nagging me. nothing much has really happened. the full moon was last night. i'm still waiting to know if wat we tried last month worked. i really hope it did. i think it did, but i'm i'm not sure. hmmm... i keep dreaming about school and in every dream i have my locker is broken. weird. ummmm... i dont know wat else to say. (see this is why i havent posted for a little bit!) i hope to go shopping tonight, but it porbably isnt going to happen. i've been wanting to all week and my dad keeps telling me we'll do it tomorrow, but tomorrow obviously hasnt come yet. *sigh* oh well. i hope i get to see lycan either tomorrow or saturday. i havent seen him since last tuesday and a lot has gone on since then (not discussing it on here) so i have to see him. ummm... that's all.

Bye!

Sapphire

P.S.

you better be happy now, lycan. XP

puppies and confusion: an odd combination

random thought, but i hope that i get new phone soon cause this is wat i have to do to get it to charge ->

and this is the puppy!

he is sooooooooo cute! his name is chase and i predict that he will have an identity crisis when he is older cause every one keeps calling him a she. *sigh* oh well.

now onto more news...

i am very confused. why? cause of lycan. one moment he seems like he wants to kiss me and stuff and then he doesnt and then he does and it's just very confusing. i dont know wat to do anymore. he said that he doesnt want to date me cause if it goes wrong then it could ruin our friendship and he doesnt want to lose me as a friend. i can understand that, but wat if it could go rite? if we dont try then we'll never know. and i know i wouldnt do anything to screw up any relationship with him, but i'm not sure if he completely believes me on that. and i wish he would cause if u look at my last boyfriend, me and him are still good friends and we still hang out and it's like we never even dated. i wish he would look at that and believe that i wont let anything happen between us. if we do end up dating i wouldnt let that screw up our friendship if we broke up. he will always be my best friend, but i want him to be more than that cause to me it would make things better. i want to date him so bad and i hope that he does read this and it convinces him that i WONT let anything go wrong... but of course i'm always sending up "red flags" that he doesnt like. i figure that after everything that bitch put him through he's real gun-shy. i get that. i just wish that he would see that i would NEVER lie to him, but i dont think he believes me when i say that. i hope that i can get around wat she did to him and get somewhere where he will believe that i wont let a break up ruin our friendship if we date cause it would absolutely tear me apart.

i think i'm finished with that.

i think that's all i have to say right now, i might post later about drill, but i dont know yet. and by the way, lycan is back so that's good.

bye!

Sapphire

i got see him today. it was loads of fun. we went down to the playground (after he played with my little brother's flight simulator) and tried to play tennis. it didnt work very well. we kept losing balls in the woods. then we went to the creek and found a monster crayfish. after that we went up to the house and watched the fifth harry potter. we got to snuggle lots during that. then we hung out a bit more at the house and then we went for a walk. we walked along the creek and stuff and he showed me more of the "wolfy" stuff. it was fun and i think i'm getting the hang of it too. but then his mom came looking for him while we were on our walk. she went up to my house then to the playground then to the house again and was almost back to the playground when we finally caught up to her. she looked really pissed, but lycan said he isnt in trouble so that's good. i just hope that i didnt get a bad mark on her chart. i'll ask him about it later. i think that's it. oh! last night at drill i got to go up in the tower. i went up like 68 feet. it was so cool! now i think i'm done.

Sapphire

everything is beginning to look up (knock on wood) my step dad isnt mad at me anymore. i might get to see lycan tomorrow. and i'm going to drill tonight. not bad i'll say. that's all

Sapphire

i got to see him today after a week. it so wasnt what i had expected. last night i ask my dad if lycan can go hiking with us. he says yeah, that we would pick him up at ten. he also tells me that he has a job to take care of and that he would be leaving EARLY. well let's just say that 8:40 i hear him on the phone. i think, well that's odd he should be gone by now. he's on the phone with his customer. he tells the guy to change the batteries in something. well the idiot old guy put them in backwards and fries it. so 9:30 rolls around and my dad still hasnt left to fix the problem. hmmm. well you can see where this is going. 10 o' clock goes by and he's stil home. finally he leaves at 10:15. now mind you he tells me that instead of getting lycan at 10 we'd get him at 11/11:30. i think okay i can wait an hour. 12:30 comes and he's just getting home. he decided to stop at the grocery store on his way home. at this time i'm a basket case and am in near tears because i'm expecting lycan to be leaving at 2. so we finally go get him and we come home and go for the hike and all that and then his mom's comes and picks him up. now that may not sound to bad, but the whole time he was here i didnt get one moment alone with him. my little brother is babbling uncontrollably. my little sister and brother cant even leave me alone with him while i walked with him to his car. as you can see i am rather pissed. i mean HELLO! i havent seen him for a whole week and then i finally get to and nothing goes right. and my dad's beginning to worry that my world revovles around him because i'm in near hysterics because i'm beginning to wonder if maybe i should just cancel my plans. i was in near hysterics cause i hadnt seen him for a whole week and was expecting to see him. that was why. i swear he wants me to talk to him about stuff but it's different from when i was younger. there's stuff that i am not goign to tell him. like my feelings for lycan.

*sigh* relief. finally. i have nothing else to say.

Sapphire

As Promised...

i have pics!

And there you have it. the amazing view from atop a mountian. sorry i didnt post yeaterday. i was very busy. some people came to look at our house. i is scarred cause they spent an hour there. not good. and i ended up being dragged along to my dad's fiance's company picnic. they had a magician. 1)he was scary looking and 2) his tricks sucked. i could think up and explaination for each one. and speaking of magicians... criss angel: mindfreak is supposed to be starting up again. YAY! i cant remember the date, but it's like the first week in august i think. i can't wait! lycan has his fone back so that's good. (he got his fone taken away the other night, but idk why) that's it for now.

See ya,

Sapphire

Wolf Rocks

yesterday we went for a hike (me, mt dad, my brother, and my dad's fiance). we up the mountain from our house and walked this hiking trail into the woods. at the end there were a ton of rocks that looked like they had rolled down the mountain years ago. it was so pretty. i had a lot of fun climbing on them. i took picture on my phone and when i get the chance, i'll put them on here. but the walk up was really long. i think round trip it was 4 miles and took us an hour to get there and then a hour back. my legs were so sore and i can feel it in them today too. i say next time, we go to the waterfall (it isnt near as far a walk). i think that's about it. lycan's still grounded so he isnt allowed to call me and cell service is awful at my house so i can hardly text him. um... i dont know when i'm going back to my mom's. i dont really want to. i'm not going to drill tonight. i should go, but my mom and stepdad arent going so that means that i wont be training if i go. that's all i guess.

Sapphire

yeah, i know XP

yes, i know this is the third time that i've post today, but i thought this was worth posting... lycan is grounded. i ont know for how long. i hope it isnt long. i dont even know if he's allowed to text. probably not. i texted him an hour ago and he hasnt answered. so i'm probably going to have little contact with him for a little while, which really sucks. *sigh* i'm going to be so lonely. i'm sure he will too. it's funny how stupid mistakes always do us in (us as in teenagers) like i said hopefully he isnt grounded for long, but i dont know. i think it'll be awhile before i see him. and yes i know that i've said that before and then seen him shortly after that, but now i think i'm right. i wish i wasnt, but i think i am. oh well.

night,

Sapphire

Thank You!

thank god, i get to stay home tonight and i dont have to go to the hell hole that is my mother's place where the evil step father and his brainwashed minions reside. i didnt get to see lycan again, but i asked him if we could hang out tomorrow, but he said that he wasnt sure. somehow i dont think that that's going to happen. which really sucks. o well. oh, and i didnt post this earlier cause i forgot about it, but i had a dream the other night. in it, it was the first day of the new school year and i walked into my first period class (chemistry) and i took my seat then lycan walked in. i wonder if it's a premonition, i hope it is cause then that means that we'll be in the same chem class which would be awesome. and even though he's a year older than me (well actually 7 months or something, but he's a grade a head of me) we could be in the same chem class so i hope that happens. if it does, that would be so awesome. it could be very likely too cause as stated above: i have chem first period and all of his classes are in the morning (he goes to tech in the afternoon) so it could be very possible that we are. i asked him about it the other day, but he said he lost his schedule which sucks, so i guess i'll have to wait for school to start.

speaking of which...

i can't wait. yes i know that sounds nerdy, but i love school (i get to see my friends that i didnt see this summer) anyway... i am looking forward to almost all of my classes this year. why do i say almost? cause i'm stuck taking 2 classes i really didnt want to take: CPI (current political issues) and sociology. neither i am looking forward to. the only good thing that comes out of that is that i wont have to take another social studies course. but i will be cause i'm hoping to take pyshcology 1 and 2. i would have taken them this year, but i want to get the college credits for it and you cant get those in your sophomore year (which is stupid, but o well) another class i'm looking forward to is my rotc class (world studies) cause it's rotc. it's going to be awesome.

wow i wrote a lot. i guess i should stop now huh? fine.

See ya,

Sapphire ;)

Much Better

as the title says, thing s are much better today. even tho i had to get up at freaking 5:20 in the morning i had fun. today was the rotc sub sale, so i got to hang out with all of my rotc friends. (which includes lycan) i got the tokio hotel cd that i wanted and lately it's been the only thing that i've listened to. the perfect theme song for lycan is "by ur side" it is an awesome song. so today made up for yesterday a lot (actually anything coulda). see, yesterday sucked. bad. i was at my mom's and everyone was giving off real nasty vibes (yes, i said vibes) like they didnt want me there. i told lycan about it, and he said that it's bull that that happens to me and that it shouldnt. so now i'm hoping that i can weasel my way out of going there tonight, cause i know that they dont want me around so there's no point as far as i see it to go over there and torture myself. hopefully my dad'll let me stay here. *crosses fingers*

THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE IS OUT!

i have yet to see it, but i'm going to hold off till lycan asks me if i'd like to go (get the hint). i've heard stuff that it isnt very good, but i dont care. i've seen all of them so far. i own all of the ones on dvd. i've a freaking guide filled with spells and potions and what not. and i have all of the books. oh, and i can out smart the harry potter 20 questions game and i dominate the harry potter scene it. so i dont care if it's good or if leaves out stuff (they always do) i have to see it, cause face it, i'm a slightly obsessed fan. hehehe.

i know that this post has been reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally random and i apologize, but i just write what comes to mind. i think that that's all i have to say so if i can escape the horrors of my mom's house, i'll post. if i dont.... expect the worst (R.I.P.)

lol

Sapphire ;)

Awful (that's it)

i got to see lycan today, but once again my little brother got in the way of a perfect evening. he doesnt know when to leave us alone and no matter how much my dad tells him to leave us alone he doesnt listen. tonight his excuse was "well you didnt tell me that TODAY." its obvious that that applies to everytime i see him! he so stupid! and lycan is too nice of a guy to tell him to leave us alone. it's awful. my little brother acts like lycan is just another one of his stupid little friends.

i think i've finished with my rant, but i am just so freaking pissed right now it is unreal. i cried more when he left. i miss him so much and whenever i see him it's never enough. hell! i start to miss him even before he leaves. i think that means that i love him and i know i do, i have for a while. but i think this is kinda like physical proof almost cause i never cried like this with the last guy i was with. i cried over him once, but with lycan i've cried so many times i cant even count. and everytime it's been because i missed him so much. i wish i didnt cry everytime he left, but at the same time it feels good cause before all of this i hardly ever cried so it's nice to have some sort of release.

and now onto new stuff and not me crying over lycan



i am now officially hooked on this german band called tokio hotel.



this is them:

i originally heard of them from my friend libby, but then i kept seeing the leader singer (bill kaulitz) name pop up in MI (mortal instruments) forums on who would make a good magnus (which he so would. he has the awesome hair for it) . so i went and i typed his name into the google bar and i found TH's webpage and i started to listen to the music on it and now i've been listening to the same 4 songs all day. it is really good music, but when i first heard his voice he sounded kinda girly, but not anymore. i think that was cause i wasnt used to it. my favorite song is between "dont jump" and "monsoon". they're both really awesome.


here's the video of "dont jump"

and here is "monsoon"

and i jsut found out that i am now more miserable than i was when he left cause i just found out that his computer has some sort of virus so he cant im me. so now i'm bawling like a baby again and i am absolutely miserable. i swear the universe is against me, that's the only solution. i guess that's all for tonight. i think this is the longest post i've ever done.

Sapphire

refer to the sob/rant two post s back and u'll havemy whole day in a nutshell. i did exactly what i feared the most, i lost his trust and now i feel like i've lost him and i'm even more afraid that i'm not going to be able to get it back, but i'm going to fight like hell to fix this. i promised him i would and i will. i'll do whatever it takes to get his trust back. *tears* i hope that "whatever" is enough though...

Sapphire

i told u that something was going to happen last night and it did! lycan showed me how to embrace the power of the full moon, but i'm not sure if i did it right and he said the only fool proof way to find is to wait till the next full moon :( i dont want to wait a whole nother month! i hope it worked tho, i really hope that i did it right, but i guess i shall find out next month. that's all for now. whenever he finally gets onto IM, he'll talked to me more about it, but i have nothing else to say for now. i'll update you on anything that happens.

See ya later,

Sapphire

Oh My God! why do i screw everything up? i always do. i've been losing friend cause i cant control my demented sense of humor. and now my absolute best friend is mad at me cause i dont freaking think! GOD! i screw everything up! why do i have to be so blonde all the time whenever i try to see him!?! i am such freaking idiot. i can never remember important things when i need to and then i pay for it later when he sounds so disappointed in me that it makes me so sad and i feel so bad, cause adventually he's not going to want to deal with me and my forgetfulness and then he's just going to stop trying to see me. *tear slides down cheek* i screw things up for my self so bad all the freaking time. i hate myself for that. i cant believe that i always screw things up. i am so stupid.


enough of my sobbing, cause i had an amazing time tonight with lycan. we played video games and went for a walk and had an amazing time. and tonights the full moon and i think that somethings going to happen, but i don't know wat it'll be. i guess i'll tell u guys tomorrow.

Night,

Sapphire

this years fourht of juky ws absolutely amazing! he spent the night at ny housenad we were up until god knows when talking nad setting off fireworks. it was the perfect fourth of july for both of us. *sigh* but alas, i miss him so much. i was actually in tears a lot this evening cause i missed him so much. it kinda reminded me of when sls was finshed and i had to ride the bus home with out him. i cried a good bit of the two hour drive i missed him so much. that is what this is feeling like. i can't wait till the 7th though, cause we're planning to see each other then, but i want to see him so much more sooner than that. i have so much more to say, but i'll hold my tongue so that there's stuff to say later.

See ya,

Sapphire




P.S.
i am sorry lycan if you're reading this, but i needed some way of getting this off my mind. i know you probably dont want to hear me crying over you, but i can't help it. i is very sorry.

hey it's me. sorry i didnt post when this happened, but isaw him again on monday we had an amazing time. we played video and went for a walk and stuff so yeah. he'll be coming over tomorrow for the fourth of july an dwe'll get to hang out all day. but seeing as my parents are majorlyparanoid, we're going to be babysat by my little brother XP so that's about it. i'll post sometime tomorrow if i remember so...

See ya,

Sapphire

hiya! i is very happy... i gots to see him yesterday and we spent the whole night playing rockband and talking and stuff it was loads of fun! *sigh* i cant wait to see him again... hopefully it will be soon.

sapphire

OMG!ursday night was amazing... i got to see him and we went for a walk... want to know more... i ask me in comments... i will say that it was like a dream... *Sigh* but i still miss him and i hope i get to see him before tuesday cause if i dont see him before then... i wont get to see him for at least a week after tuesday :( i'm going to be so miserable... o well hopefully i do get to see him

keep ur fingers crossed for me ;)

See ya,

Sapphire

rather disappointed :( i didnt get to see him ): i hope that tomorrow i will.... i miss him so much :'(

OMG! i have major news, but i'm not putting it on here so if u want to know comment...

disregard

hey everyone! wow i just had the most amzing time ever! this past week i went to this really awesome camp for my school's AFJROTC well lets just say that it is the best start for summer. and btw about the disregard thing... that is refering to the previous post. OMG! times like a million i am soooooooooo happy! the guy of my dreams told me that we'll be dating by the end of summer i am so happy! i have about 44 days until it is official... and no i'm not getting into details right now cause 1)i don't want it on the net and 2) it is reeeeeeeeeeeeally complicated. so that about it...

See ya,

Sapphire ;)

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't believe what i just did! I asked a guy out! yes me! the shy little freshman asked out a junior! OMG! now i'm waiting for answer.... i really really hope he says yes *crosses fingers* other than that nothing much has really happened... still writing, i wrote a new poem yesterday and the other day i hit page 50 on my story and the 22,000th word so that is a major turning point i think :) so that it really....

See ya,

Sapphire

to bored to title.... sorry i havent posted (again) sorry i'm not up on capitalization (again) and sorry about the again... still boyfriendless (obviously) XP.... my dream guy is getting closer to breaking up with his current giurlfriend... i figure i'll be dating him by the end of summer (hopefully) other than that, nothing has happened XP

See ya,

Sapphire

*shrug*

*Sigh* Sorry i haven't posted in like forever, but i've been very busy. i'm also rather tired (notice no correct capitalization). me and my boyfriend broke up, actually i kinda broke up with him. i figured i should post, but i don't have much to say.

See ya,

Sapphire

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

City of Bones is officailly out! I am sooooooooo happy! Can you feel that happiness? Please tell me you can! I know you can!! Any way... not hing else has happened much lately. Me and my boyfriend are still going strong. School's still boring as usual, but what do you expect? So, yeah, taht's it.

See ya,

Sapphire

Valentine's Day

First off... Happy Valentine's Day! (I know it's a little late) I personally had a wonderful day Saturday. I got to go to my boyfriend's house and watch a movie. It was awesome. And other than that nothing really happened.

See ya,

Sapphire

Yay!

Yeah I know I repeated a title, but this one is well deserving. I had an amazing time tonight. I had so much fun with my boyfriend. But geez I wish my mom hadn't pounded that no kissing thing into my head so hard cause i really really wanted to. Oh well. That's all for tonight.

See ya,

Sapphire

Coping

School's getting better, everything considered. I get to my boyfriend almost every hour in the morning before lunch, so it's making not seeing him at lunch much better than before. So I guess u could say that I'm happy now (to an extent).

See ya,

Sapphire

Promise

As promised this post holds more sorrow. It is the end of the week and thus the start of a new semester which means the beginning to 18 weeks of sadness. Why? Cause he's not in my lunch anymore which means that i lose half an hour of his presence. I'm so sad. I wish that either i could join him or he could come back, but I know that isn't going to happen. *sigh* Oh well there's nothing i can do except cry a little bit more.

Sapphire

Happy!!!!

OMG!I am so happy! :) i got to go to my boyfriends on Sunday to sled! I had an amazing time. There is something else i would like to add, but won't due to a nosey sister. So that's about it. Oh and i'm so sad. Want to know why? Oh well i don't care if you don't cause I'm going to tell you anyway. I really want the end of the week to come ssssssuuuuuuuuupppppppppeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr slooooooooowly cause the end of the semester is at the end and when the semester ends my boyfriend has to move to A lunch while i'm stuck in C. I'll miss him soooooooooo much. :( There will be more sorrow at the end of the week.

See ya,

Sapphire

WARNING:morbidity

This may be a bit morbid, but it's still cool.

149,383 People

My boyfriend found it. That's it.

See ya,

Sapphire