summer

so today marked the last day of school and the first day of summer vacation. I'm sure that it will be filled with great times and tears, but hopefully not as much stress or fights or any heartbreak at all. I know i'm gonna miss lycan, but i have keith now and even tho he's great, he'll never be lycan. dont get me wrong, i love keith, but i also love lycan too and i know that i always will no matter what. i cried on the bus ride home today because i didnt get to him before i left. it was a complete repeat of last year. i even had this same exact feeling of dread in my stomach. *sigh* hopefully my past feelings wont ruin my summer, but i am pretty sure that on certain dates like the fourth of july and june 14 will definitely bring tears to my eyes. and i know that i'm gonna have to hide it. i'm going to have to hide the pain that is still buried in my heart and i'm gonna have to put on a happy face for everyone. for keith. for my family. for lycan even. he hates what himself for what he did to me, but he needs to learn to forgive just like i have and that wont happen if i keep showing him how much i'm still hurting. i need to be alright for him to forgive himself. i know that if i survive this summer with as many tears as possible that i'll be okay. no matter how much it's going to hurt, i'm going to have to get over what happened and make it stop haunting my every step. i know it'll be hard, but i think that i've already gone through the worst.

Sapphire