HELP!!!!!!!!!

okay if anyone is reading this then now would be the perfect time to speak up! i need major help. the problem: lycan. i dont know wat to do. he doesnt want to be boyfriend and girlfriend which is fine by me, but it makes it hard on me causei think i may like way more than just a friend should. and i know that we do bf/gf stuff and i am real happy about that, but now seeing as school has started i cant stop thinking about him and when i know it's close to maybe seeing him i can feel my whole body shake. i try to ignore, but it's so annoying. so i dont know wat to do. i feel like if i move on and get over him that will go away, but i cant even picture myself with anyone but him. *sigh* i am so confused and lost and so many other things right now. i can hardly think straight as it is from being sick and now this and new classes and a whole new freaking time schedule. i hope lycan reads this post cause i dont think i'll be able to explain this again. maybe he can help me.\

onto other topics like how my last weekend of summer went... it went really well. i was going to go to the sub sale on saturday, but i was too tired. so i slept in and then i got to got the renaissance festival (which i wore a costume for) and then that night i was dodging chunks of mud down ON the track for the demolition derby at the county fair. and then sunday night my department got a search detail for a drunk guy up the ridge. that was a really bumpy ride. and after they found him they sent us to set up a landing zone. it was so cool seeing the helicopter land and take off! first day of school (yesterday) went well. i dont get to lycan near as much as last year, but i'll make it work somehow. i went to drill too last night. it was boring cause we just put the 1000 feet of 5 inch that was on the engine onto the tanker and the 1000 feet of 5 inch on the tanker onto the engine. i was up top helping pull it onto the truck and my knees were so sore today from it.

a little about my classes...

no i dont have chem with lycan which sucks, but i kinda figured i wouldnt. my sociology class has a lot of seniors in it and my crafts class is filled with freshmen. i dont have A lunch with lycan either... instead i'm stuck in B all year. which pisses me off cause ej got A lunch. i get to run fromend of the school to the other all day. and i mean that literally. i hardly even have time to stop at my NEW locker. yeah they gave almost all the sophpmores new lockers that are closer to they're homerooms. so that really sucks, but i'm closer to lycan's locker which is majorly cool. wat else.... homeroom is at the end of the day which majorly screws with me and i dont like it at all. tomorrow we take forsights which is awful and i think i'll stop ranting about school now.

so yeah if u guys could help me out on the above subject that would be great.

thanks!

Sapphire